Small Victories - Big Difference

In-Service Training (IST) is just two weeks away and that means I have to start thinking about what I’m going to say in my quarterly progress report. As you know, some weeks I feel like I literally accomplish nothing … but when I sat down and started to list the projects I’ve worked on over the last six months, I realized I was underestimating my own achievements! The simple act of breaking down six months worth of work into measurable goals and victories was very satisfying. Call me a visual learner, but I’ve always thought putting things in writing was a great way to reflect on and evaluate just about anything … wonder why I didn’t think of this sooner? Good thing Peace Corps did.

Six months in … and all I can say is, I’ve come a long way, baby! On a professional level, I’ve seen great progress in my students and co-teachers despite the daily frustrations that sometimes lead me to believe they’d be happier remaining in a state of habitual torpor. Two of my co-teachers in particular have begun consistently implementing new methodology into their lessons, resulting in more interactive and engaging classes for their students. Additionally, after six months of crazy activities with the “brang,” my students are not as afraid to speak out in class, take risks, and do silly things they would have been afraid to do when I first arrived.

In that vein, I’ve helped some of my brightest students work on scholarship applications and two of my co-teachers apply for continued learning opportunities. Aside from the obvious chance these programs provide for personal growth, I think all my students and co-workers benefited tremendously from practicing their interview skills with me and discussing application techniques. Additionally, I’ve been working with one of these co-teachers recently to translate a funding proposal requesting additional support for the construction at our school.

Extracurricularly, I’ve organized my school’s library (although it’s presently closed due to said construction), started volunteering four nights a week at an incredible NGO, and working informally with a small group of girls on self-esteem issues. I honestly can’t say enough about the work I do at Sustainable Cambodia. In my classes, we’ve discussed topics ranging from poetry analysis to resume composition and everything in between.

Of course, my major long-term project addressing self-esteem issues is still on the horizon as well. Deidre and I just finished the final draft of our project proposal for Camp G.L.O.W. - Cambodia. Keep your fingers crossed, we’re submitting it for review during IST! Once we secure funding, we can begin finalizing plans for what we hope will be an annual weekend retreat for 15 girls, focusing on healthy lifestyle choices, educational opportunities, and goal setting.

I can also say, six months of serious self reflection (due to Cambodia’s many many national holidays) has given me a chance to figure out what my passions are and start forming a cogent plan for life post-Peace Corps. In high school, my goal was to get to college. In college, my goal was to get good grades so I could get a job. Somewhere along the way, I neglected to think about what that job should be.

I had two pretty consistent love affairs throughout college: one with my English books, and one with French. But when I tell people I majored in French and English, they usually ask if I’m going to be a teacher ... and I’ve always had my doubts about teaching. Doing Peace Corps has helped me realize -- not so much that I want to teach -- but that I want to be an advocate for education. I’ve been lucky enough to follow my academic interests with an almost careless ease. When I see my students here struggling day in and day out to get a fraction of the education I had, it makes me realize what a great gift it really is to be able to pursue the caprices of the mind for no other reason than personal enrichment. Never mind the fact that if these students can complete high school, they will be able to do something truly meaningful with their lives.

To maximize my potential to promote this great institute, I’ve been entertaining the idea of pursuing a masters degree in French or education Either one will give me the freedom to pursue a job with the government, international humanitarian organizations, or, on a more local level, as a school administrator. Yup, all that time spent around crazy Liberals at Hamilton and in PC has rubbed off on me -- I want to save the world. Give me a break.

Peace Corps has been a formative experience in many ways. Aside from this self-revelation, it’s also been a great adventure. I’ve seen ancient temples, been (almost) attacked by rabid monkeys, eaten pickled pig skin, chilled out in jungle hammocks, and chatted with people who have witnessed genocide first hand. Just call me Lara Croft, right? But it isn’t always easy. Being a volunteer can be intensely lonely. It’s hard to imagine that you can be surrounded by hundreds of people and still feel alone … but when you can’t truly speak their language, I assure you, you can.

I’ve always been reliant on other people, so in many ways, I think this experience has been good for me. The truth is, I’m not really alone. My Cambodian friends are always up to grab a cup of coffee and discuss local gossip, other PCVs are only a text or bus ride away, and my family and friends in the States are behind me 100% of the way. No, I’m not alone. None of us are. What we feel on those long, quiet nights or hazy afternoons when Cambodia is taking its daily siesta is the first step of becoming truly self-reliant.

This experience is, above all, an exercise in independence. It’s up to you to find your own happiness, set your own goals, and add meaning to your daily life. Peace Corps can be bureaucratic at times (it IS a government organization, after all), but they don’t cosset us. We’re truly out here on our own. And that’s a great feeling … once you get over the initial shock that no one’s going to hold your hand for it. It’s OUR life and OUR adventure. I guess they don’t call it the “hardest job you’ll ever love” for nothing.

So for now, I’m off to go live mine. This weekend there’s a province-wide soccer tournament that I need to dust off my pom-poms for and a week’s worth of Valentine-themed activities to plan for my students before next week!